Baby Got (hurt) Back...

Last week I did what any rational adult male would do on a normal weekday.  I went to the gym and injured my back.  Having no experience with back injuries aside from seeing other people have them and knowing that I never wanted one, it was a bit disconcerting.  Back injuries were the realm of old people and I guess, at 27, I've finally become one.  It's unfortunate that it will still be another 38 years before I can claim the true and rightful spoils of my status, the glory that is the senior citizen discount.  Until then, I exist in sort of a generational limbo.  And anyone who has actually been to limbo knows there's not much to do there except think.  So even though my back has mutinied against me, not being able to climb, run, hike, tattoo, or do anything really except watch TV and contemplate, this event has thrust me into a clarifying introspection and I realized a few things about myself.

In an act of uninsured desperation, I went to the chiropractor (the short story is that it worked in spite of my preconceived notions) and while filling out the necessary forms, there was a simple question that struck me as odd.  The question asked "What is your level of health and fitness?"  And the multiple choice answers were as follows:

-Below average
-Average
-Above average

The choices seemed simplistic.  And even though it wasn't asking me to integrate a differential function, my mind began reeling.  Level of health compared to what?  Averages are by their very definition comparative.  But the question offered no further information.  Compared to the patients at a heart hospital in Kentucky?  Probably above average.  Compared to the predators I've been watching during Shark Week?  Below average.  Not knowing exactly what they were asking I just went with the safe bet and circled average.  But then I started to think about my efforts toward health and fitness and began to wonder what other people were circling on this form.  I imagine there must have been humble triathletes who would have circled below average because their 3 hour 22 minute marathon time was 27 minutes shy of the world record.  And I'm sure there were the delusional ones who circled above average when they have been existing on a diet solely consisting of foods with Mc in the name but they walked 12 minutes on the treadmill last April while waiting for the results of one of Maury Povich's paternity tests.

It got me to thinking about averages and self perception.  So I did a bit of research, which, in honor of tradition will be presented without sources.  On another blog (I guess that's a source, secondary at best, probably tertiary) I found this:

96% of cancer patients in a hospital claim to be in better health than the average cancer patient.

93% of motorists consider themselves to be safer-than-average drivers.

90% students see themselves as more intelligent than the average student.

94% of college professors said they are better-than-average teachers.

Ironically, 92% said they are less biased than average, too.

Just click through to the other blog.  Because that guy sums up my thoughts with way less peripheral BS.  If I had written an article on the same concept it would have been 45 times as long.  You know, because I think I'm awesome and I love to hear myself talk.

This sort of outlines the stance one must take when undertaking any endeavor in life.  From the artist's perspective, the moment you don't think you suck, you stop learning, you stagnate, and you die.  So even if from the aspect of comparison to the general public, someone is talented at drawing, in comparison to their unrealized potential they might as well be smearing dog poo on a piece of paper.

And this is the big issue I have with mothers.  You know who you are.  You all think your kids are so great.  I'm sure this instinct is related to some kind of evolutionary survival imperative.  But try and understand the disparity between what you think of your kids, what the rest of the world thinks of your kids, and what your kids actually think of themselves.  It's a delicate balance between developing self esteem and reaching one's potential.  So even though a child might do something good or even extraordinary every once in a while, years of empirical research by teams of doctors and scientists have repeatedly shown that the sun does not shine out of anyone's ass.  Except mine.  Just ask my mom.