The problem with babies is... they have absolutely no sensibility when it comes to choosing appropriate garments. It's almost as if this kid is saying "f*** planet earth and f*** your delicate social mores." If you'll allow your eye globes to meander down to the lower right hand corner of the photo, it's obvious that he's desperately trying to flip the bird. But being young and lacking the manual dexterity necessary to unilaterally raise his middle finger like a fully formed, respectable adult, he settles for a simple index finger point, hoping that the message sent by his outfit will be enough to convey his sentiment. Just to recap, that sentiment is "f*** planet earth and f*** your delicate social mores." How, you ask, have I determined this inflammatory statement considering the fact that the child has yet to take his first little footsteps into the world of distinguishable language and speech? Because everyone, even babies, knows that the manufacture of plastic products puts a tremendous strain on our already scarce petroleum reserves and contributes to vast amounts of pollution. These things are a serious concern for all of us on this planet, and this baby... clearly... does not give a sh**. Furthermore, he spits in the face of socially accepted boundaries of decency by selecting a garment that, while satisfying the requirement of being a sort of cover for the body, is entirely see-through and therefore utterly worthless in the context of protecting our carefully developed sense of shame.
I for one, say the new people must be stopped. Stances on immigration, policies on terrorism, and demographical novelty of candidate will no longer matter to me in terms of selecting our next president. What I want to know is who is going to address the real threat? My (hypothetical) vote (were I to believe in the process) is definitely going to be (figuratively) cast for the (figurehead) candidate that's finally going to get tough (annihilate) babies and their complete disregard for everything we hold sacred as Americans and real humans.
